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Weighty Matters and Diets: The Drinking Man’s Diet

April 19, 2012

Enjoy your favorite cocktail while you lose weight! How to Lose Weight with a Minimum of Willpower!

Enough Said.

It’s been a while since I’ve featured an absurd diet from the DietsInReview website and I absolutely could not resist this one. The Drinking Man’s Diet (and I assume it works for women too? Not guaranteed, though) is almost too good to be true. Actually, it’s definitely too good to be true. Read on:

The Drinking Man’s Diet is a fad diet that was made famous by William the Conqueror around 1087. The king had gained so much weight that he was too heavy for his horse to carry.

One day in an attempt to lose weight quickly, he stopped eating food and started drinking alcohol. Thus began The Drinking Man’s Diet, which has evolved through the years and is considered an extreme and unsafe fad diet.

Today’s version of the diet includes drinking martini’s before lunch and eating steaks for dinner. The new version is the brainchild of Robert Cameron and his pamphlet outlining the diet sold over two million copies in 1964. Cameron has lived to be 93 and is still trim from following this diet over the years.

Overall the Drinking Man’s Diet includes lowering carbohydrate consumption and encourages consumption of things certain kinds of alcohol and meat.

Ok, firstly! Who knew that William the Conqueror invented a fad diet?! No one, that’s who. I mean, seriously, the first Norman King of England, descendent of frickin’ Vikings, a Duke at age 7, was like “Does this horse make me look fat?” and then just binge drank himself skinny!! William the Conqueror=my new hero.

Lookin' good, Willie, lookin' good.

So, there’s that fascinating fact. Then we have the concept of “martinis before lunch and eating steaks for dinner”…so, basically, this is the Mad Men diet?? Seriously, market it as such, and the followers will come in droves! Droves, I tell ya!

"Oh man, Draper, thanks for sharing your secret diet with me! I've never been so svelte in my entire life!"
"What diet, Sterling? Pass me that steak sauce."

And lastly, the newer interpreter of the diet has lived to be 93 while still adhering to this diet?! I’m really in awe. This diet is like the Holy Grail or something! Wow. Now, for my favorite part of the DietsInReview site…the Pros and Cons!

PRO

  • Great for those who enjoy a good steak and a glass or two of alcohol
  • Doesn’t involve counting calories
  • Cookbook available
  • Drinking modest amounts of certain kinds of alcohol has been linked to health benefits

CON

  • Diet restricts carbs
  • May encourage binge drinking
  • May promote using alcohol to control weight
  • Consuming large amounts of red meat can lead to higher cholesterol levels
  • Classified as a fad diet
  • Those who have specific known risk factors for breast cancer should abstain from alcohol
  • Not that much different from other low-carb, high protein diets

Brilliant, eh? May encourage binge drinking to drink a few times every day and subsist off alcohol?! You don’t say. But it certainly would be “great for those who enjoy a good steak and a glass or two of alcohol”…but, come to think of it, I currently live in West Virginia and that is a very regular diet here and yet W.Va. is one of the most obese states in the union. So…I just don’t know what to believe!

Here is a sample menu from the Drinking Man’s Diet:

DIET and NUTRITION

The Drinking Man’s Diet focuses on drinking alcohol and lowering carbohydrate intake. The diet originally started with just drinking alcohol and not eating at all when William the Conqueror used it in 1087. But today, it has been altered to include real food in the form of animal protein.

A sample day on the Drinking Man’s Diet might look like this:

  • Breakfast: A few slices of cantaloupe, two slices of bacon, two poached or scrambled eggs, coffee or tea.
  • Lunch: Two glasses of dry wine, or one dry martini or whiskey and soda, broiled fish or steak or roast chicken, green beans or asparagus, lettuce and tomato salad with French or Roquefort dressing, and coffee or tea.
  • Dinner: Martinis or high balls, shrimp cocktail, steak, pork, lamb or chicken, one cup of low starch vegetables, 1/2 an avocado with French dressing, small serving of cheese, coffee or tea.

There are no calorie counts for the Drinking Man’s Diet, but daily carbohydrate grams should be kept to 30 or fewer.

Wowza. My liver and arteries just shriveled up and cried for mercy at the sight of that. And: No exercise recommended! This just gets better and better. Well, if anyone decides to try this*, please wish your organs good luck for me. And be sure to wear a 3-piece suit while you indulge. It’s all about style and class, y’all. The finer things in life.

(Images courtesy of Amazon, Middle-Ages.org.uk, and ThoughtfulRabbit)

*=HangryHippo in no way endorses this diet (satire, y’all).

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. Streetflash permalink
    April 19, 2012 10:08 pm

    Ok, firstly! Who knew that William the Conqueror invented a fad diet?! No one, that’s who. I mean, seriously, the first Norman King of England, descendent of frickin’ Vikings, a Duke at age 7, was like “Does this horse make me look fat?” and then just binge drank himself skinny!!

    =

    Funniest piece of writing………. ever!

  2. April 19, 2012 10:43 pm

    Even from beyond the grave William continues his conquest. This time fooling fat people into thinking false facts about himself.

    I overheard some girl saying she was on some fad diet. Yesterday all she could eat was up to 8 bananas and 4 glasses of milk. Today she could have a pound of steak but had to eat 6 tomatoes. She’s the kind of person who would buy into a cult.

  3. sweetopiagirl permalink
    April 20, 2012 12:17 am

    Reblogged this on InspiredWeightloss! and commented:
    Add your thoughts here… (optional)

  4. Sexy Curmudgeon permalink
    April 20, 2012 1:09 am

    Thank you, Hangry, for your inspired post. This is a powerful first step in eradicating the prejudice and bigotry against Vikings. Thank goodness a Viking is finally being associated with something everyone supports like weight loss, instead of the usual things – like drinking, unruly behavior, and raping and pillaging. Keep up the good fight!

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