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INSPIRATION: The Day Of Love…And Waffles

February 13, 2012

Valentine’s Day. Pretty much the most meaningless day of the year for cynics like myself who have coal in place of their hearts, who laugh in the face of Cupid and put up a force field against his arrows, who…oh, you get the point. I just don’t care about Valentine’s Day at all. That’s not entirely true, because there is candy involved and I do care very deeply about candy, but generally the day is overcommercialized and arbitrary…why do I need a sanctioned day to celebrate the loves in my life (loves=chocolate, wine, hot baths, Robyn…)? Answer: I do not.

But, the news I am about to share with y’all could revolutionize all of these mixed feelings I have. Because, this year, WAFFLE HOUSE is going glam in honor of Saint Valentine, and holy shmoly it is classy.

“It will have tablecloths,” Waffle House Area Director Chris Parrott tells WALB. “It will have alcohol-free champagne. The lighting will be dimmer. It will be cloth napkins instead of paper. The atmosphere will be more of 5-star sit-down and less fast-production Waffle House.”

WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!!!!!!!!!! I know, right?! Seriously, I am trying to convince my dear friend (yes, that’s you, Sexy Curmudgeon) who I first shared the taste of sweet nectar Waffle House medley with to meet me somewhere for this FINE DINING EXPERIENCE!!!! but I fear my requests will be ignored. How can you miss out on a once in a lifetime experience like this?! For once, I have no answers.

Just when you think it can't get any more romantic...

I can’t even imagine what aphrodisiacs one would order on this celebration to end all celebrations…The B.L.T. and Chili combo?? Pork chops and eggs?? HASHBROWNS SCATTERED SMOTHERED (OOOOHHHH YYEEEAHHH) COVERED CHUNKED (JUST LIKE THAT RIGHT THERE YESYESYES) TOPPED DICED PEPPERED (YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEESSSSSSS)?!?!?!?!

Pure Love

Oh, America. You are such a magical (and obese) place. Happy day of love or whatever, y’all. I know how I’ll be celebrating…

(Images courtesy of Fatwallet [?!I wish…] and The Droid Guy)

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Fedora permalink
    February 13, 2012 11:25 pm

    I am so happy that you finally found what makes you happy this Valentines. It is a special moment in every womans life. And the answer is all of it, you go for all of it.

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