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Not New News, But Still Unbelievable: Women Accused of Hiding Merchandise in Body Fat

September 1, 2011

In a truly beautiful example of how little dignity some (many) people gloriously have, two Oklahoma women were arrested for shoplifting from a TJ Maxx and hiding the goods in…their excess body fat.

Excuse My Beauty

Excuse My Beauty

The article is as follows, brief but utterly perfect:

Two women are arrested for shoplifting and police say they used their bodies to conceal the goods. Edmond police authorities say it was at the Edmond TJ Maxx that loss prevention officers found the duo stuffing items under their belly fat and breasts.

They say they took four pair of boots, three pair of jeans, a wallet and gloves; $2,600 worth of store merchandise.

Ailene Brown, 28, and 37-year-old Shmeco Thomas were arrested for shoplifting and are facing felony charges.

Officer James Hamm said, “These two were actually concealing them in areas of their body where excess skin was, under their chest area and armpits.”

Police say Brown also had a knife in her purse they say she used to cut security tags in the store.

BRAVO BRAVO BRAVO!!!! $2600 worth of store merchandise IN THEIR BELLY FAT AND BREASTS?!?!?! I am not only amazed, but sincerely jealous. And herein lies maybe the only solid argument I have heard FOR obesity…a handy dandy place to hide stolen goods!

And in the news clip, the Policeman who arrested these fine fine women adds “one of the individuals had 3 boots concealed under her breasts and bra.” THREE BOOTS?! I can only bow down to the buxom Bonnie and Clydette of our day. Bras off to you, ladies. Bras off to you.

(Image courtesy of Mattalltrades, hilarious and informative)

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. Shira permalink
    September 2, 2011 10:47 pm

    This is unbelievably hilarious!

  2. Sexy Curmudgeon permalink
    September 4, 2011 4:15 am

    I could bring up the possibilities of even more extensive weight profiling, discrimination, and prejudice that this story raises, but instead I’m just going to point out: I like that you classify this under “fatshion.” Let’s think about that.

  3. Jamie permalink
    September 5, 2011 12:57 pm

    Was this a “plus size” TJ Maxx? Were these women working for a ringleader who recruited them because of their size? They could walk into a store as a size 14 and walk out a size 20. Think of the career opportunities now available for women who are discriminated against in the business world. We need more creative thinking that this article stimulates!

  4. October 18, 2011 6:26 pm

    That’s an all around great blog

  5. November 15, 2011 4:41 am

    First class writing!

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