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Muy Yum!: Frito Lay Flavor Kitchen

August 24, 2011

This is honestly appalling in every way, shape, and form.

The Frito-Lay® Flavor Kitchen™ Recess! The Last Day of School: Summer Treats

is a video which is an absolute indisputable example of why our country is suffering with a childhood obesity epidemic. This little gem came up as an advertisement before some music video I was watching (note: it was probably this music video) and apparently the Frito-Lay Flavor Kitchen is a newly launched initiative to…further ruin our health? I am confused as to how they can have a section on their website about Sensible Snacking (in which they extol the virtues of their chips, such as “Less Salt Than You Might Think”…well, I think they have a ton of salt so that’s…comforting? Also: Our Tostitos SCOOPS! tortilla chips contain less salt than a serving of fruit yogurt! What? What? I need to look into their statistic further…) while simultaneously promoting this video.

Let’s parse it apart, shall we? The video begins by talking about “fun recipes for the kids when they’re home from school” and calling on the help of the Frito-Lay Flavor Kitchen, all whilst showing healthy looking children being active interspersed with images of fresh fruits and vegetables. Clever, right? But then we get to the “Mission.:

Mission: The Last Day of School

Solution: Summer Treats

Key Ingredients: Lunch Meats, Bananas, Peanut Butter, Cheeto Cheese Flavored Snacks

Huh. Please pause at the 0:45 mark (it’s literally only a second long shot, so be stealthy) and look at the snacks they are creating with these ingredients. Horrifying in every sense of the word. Also, they left “cheese” off the ingredients list and it turns out to be a main component of these “snacks.”

Let’s look at the ingredients themselves: lunch meat which is over-processed and basically unrecognizable; cheese which is over-processed and basically unrecognizable; bananas, fine; peanut butter, fine in moderation but the non-natural organic peanut butter is full of sugar and preservatives; and do I even need to comment on Cheeto Cheese flavored snacks? Look, I love a Cheeto as much as the next person, but I have to consciously prevent myself from indulging in any of these snacks as I know they are poisonously unhealthy and addictive. So, let’s feed them to our children! In mass quantities!

“Moms, you will be able to do this SO easily!” exclaims the host of this hot mess who claims that she herself is a mom and thus clearly wants to not only poison your kids but also entice her own children with sordid snacks (Editors Note: this is my supposition). “I love all the colors and combinations!” she posits. The colors? Neon Orange (of the cheeto variety, not the fresh fruit), pink (of the fake bologna palette), brown (peanut butter), and…red? Oh, well the red is a different flavor of “cheetos, crushed up and made to look like caviar or spice.” Because children love caviar! And seriously? This is the most trashy, appalling excuse for a snack on the face of the planet. The peanut butter and banana? They recommend that you put cheetos on top for…??? I have no idea.

Seriously, feeding your kids (or yourself) this mess should be criminal. Is anyone else as horrified by this as I am?

One Comment leave one →
  1. TBM permalink
    August 24, 2011 4:03 pm

    I don’t even know where to start. This is so horrifying, mainly because I imagine that Frito Lay has reason to believe people are actually going to make this and feed it to their children. And think it’s healthy!
    I’d also just like to point out that at the beginning of the “mission” there’s a 30-second countdown clock, and 2 or 3 minutes later, at the end of the video, the countdown clock comes back to show us the end of the 30 seconds…..what?

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