Hangry Hippocrite!: Chris Hansen Escandalo and Bo Burnham

To Catch A Hungry Hansen

Perhaps you have not yet heard the ESCANDALO featuring Chris Hansen. Perhaps you have not heard of Chris Hansen. In which case I must ask: WHAT do you spend your time doing, exactly?! Clearly not watching pedophiles be confronted in the most uncomfortable reality show possible (other than Bridalplasty, of course. Or…another other reality show really. I know, I know, I’m a curmudgeon who just doesn’t understand reality TV). So! Allow me to explain. Hansen (no, not the boy band) is the host of “To Catch A Predator” which is a Dateline (I’ve always found the name of the station slightly ironic given the content…) “American reality television series that features hidden camera investigations…devoted to the subject of identifying and detaining those who contact people they believe to be below the age of consent (ages 12–15) over the Internet for sexual liaisons.” (Wikipedia)

Ugh. Let me just say that anytime I have happened upon this show on TV and have been unable to look away due to the trainwreck happening before my eyes, the song “Straight to Hell” by The Clash pops into my head…and I’m not sure whether it’s aimed at the predators or myself for watching that disgraceful mess. Essentially, the men who seek out these sexual liasons with underage children are caught entering the home of their ‘sexual fantasy’ (it’s all a decoy set up by Dateline) and then confronted by Hansen, who reads them excerpts from their online chats with their prey and then explains to them that they are on national television and the minute they walk out the door will be arrested by police. Apparently, many of these men then have to register as sex-offenders for the rest of their lives and some are even put on sex-offender probation.

Really an appalling way to spend an hour of your life (if you only watch one episode, but there are entire marathons for those of you masochists out there) and one of the more dismal displays of the human capacity for messiness.

But let’s get to the ESCANDALO Hansen himself is now caught up in. Essentially, the man who “traps sex perverts in TV stings ‘ [has been] CAUGHT CHEATING on his wife’… by HIDDEN CAMERAS.” Ah the irony. No, the woman who Hansen is cheating with is not underage. And the sex is (as far as anyone knows) consensual and will not get him arrested. He is yet another man who was feeling stifled in his enduring marriage and decided to stray. So, thankfully, Hansen himself will not be featured on the next “Predator” episode, as that would basically be yet another sign of the apocalypse and we just don’t need any more of that.

Now, why am I featuring this on a site dedicated to satirizing the weight-loss industry/media fascination with weight? Chris Hansen is a slender fellow, has never (to the internets knowledge so…never) spoken out about his weight or exercise regiment so….why here? Why is he the Hangry Hippocrite of the week?

Because I think this is an example of how we’re all hungry for something–be it food/sex/a high–and have to learn to deal with these urges in a non self/others-destructive manner or else face serious consequences to our bodies, our relationships, our minds. Weight is clearly an externalized manifestation of a deep hunger, and if we do not work to satisfy the cravings that our bodies and souls yearn for in a healthy, sustainable manner we will suffer for much of our lives and hurt ourselves and others in the process.

So there’s your ESCANDALO life lesson, thanks to our Hangry Hippocrite Chris Hansen.

Take us out, Bo Burnham. The original Hungry, Hungry Hypocrite:

(Image courtesy of this google site: http://tinyurl.com/3k3rl7g)